Attitude of Gratitude - Its not a Secret

While I sit here on a Friday, having a Earth Rider Superior Pale Ale, I sit in a place of gratitude for where I'm at in life.  (that's where the blog ended on Friday, so let’s fast forward to Sunday....)

We all have history and have accumulated baggage from the time we're born.  We take it with us wherever we go as our baggage in a way becomes our story.  The memory of who we were before and constantly comparing it to who we are today.  Making sure that we're reconciling our thoughts, beliefs, morals, and thought patterns we've collected over the years with how we look, think, act, and respond to situations happening today.  It’s like a constant audit happening from one moment to the next to make sure that we're operating within the confines of who we determined ourselves to be.  Pushing away things that we've told ourselves are "not me" and only taking on those things that support who we believe define our identity.  Its tiring and in my journey, I'm learning that, it’s exhausting.  Judging every thought to make sure it matches with the images of who we are is getting to be a bit much.  For an overthinker like myself, in OCD fashion, it’s what seems like a second full time job.

But as I'm progressing with my shadow work, I see who I am and I'm finding out that I really don't have to do that anymore.  We are not our thoughts.  They seem to fly in and out of our minds like water and I've been sitting there with my measuring cup examining every ounce.  I don't really understand how I got to be at this point, but as Tori says, "it’s time to wave goodbye now."  It’s time to be comfortable with thoughts coming in that make no sense or are troubling and let them pass through.  That's my goal anyways as I'm tired of feeling like there's an auditor in my head keeping score of what I think and whether I grab onto the thought.  

Which brings us to gratitude.  The more mindful I am about the moment I'm in and being grateful, the easier things seem to get.  I don't worry very much anymore compared to when this all started.  I'm in a much better place and considering how hard I've been manifesting and working towards personal and business goals; I'd say that both my husband and I have done damn good.  

But what I am most grateful for are the people who have been in my life for a very long time.  These are the people that when I was at my lowest, lifted me back up with the message that "you are the goddamn prize!"  They've stuck by me for so long I don't have words to describe just how grateful I am for it. Its been 25 years since college and it’s like no time has passed at all.  During one of my greatest moments, they stood for me in my wedding as my maid of honor and bridesmaids, and I couldn't have been more blessed with the perfection of that day.  It’s as if the universe conspired to provide the perfect day and a moment in time just for us with our friends and loved ones who traveled from the corners of the country just to be there.  I am blessed that the crew I became an adult with is still with me today. 

There is far too much to account for in the realm of the gratitude department for me.  It just keeps coming.  But what I found is to be grateful even if you're not in the place you want to be at yet.  If you want something sincerely, for example, just be thankful and say, "I'm grateful for having a new car and the means to pay it off."  Once you give that thought enough energy (but don't OCD it like I do) you'll be surprised when it comes to pass.  Abraham Hicks, someone from YouTube I highly recommend, talks about manifestation all the time.  The biggest message is to sit in the energy of where you want to be as if you're already there.  All that is, is just feeling what it would be like to have it and feel the feeling of having it.  Sit in that feeling long enough, and watch it come to you.  But don't let your ego say "this isn't working" or somehow talk yourself out of deserving it somehow.  Just exist as if you already have it.  Try it for a while.  You won't be disappointed.

As I am working on dinner with a couple of great friends, listening to Tori Amos, all I can say is, thank you to the energy that makes all this possible.  Thank you for understanding that my head is a challenge to understand, that I really have pure intentions, and helping the husband and I to have this great life we have.  I'll end with, "I can't wait to see just how much better it can get!"