While I sit here on a Friday, having a Earth Rider Superior Pale Ale, I sit in a place of gratitude for where I'm at in life.  (that's where the blog ended on Friday, so let’s fast forward to Sunday....)

We all have history and have accumulated baggage from the time we're born.  We take it with us wherever we go as our baggage in a way becomes our story.  The memory of who we were before and constantly comparing it to who we are today.  Making sure that we're reconciling our thoughts, beliefs, morals, and thought patterns we've collected over the years with how we look, think, act, and respond to situations happening today.  It’s like a constant audit happening from one moment to the next to make sure that we're operating within the confines of who we determined ourselves to be.  Pushing away things that we've told ourselves are "not me" and only taking on those things that support who we believe define our identity.  Its tiring and in my journey, I'm learning that, it’s exhausting.  Judging every thought to make sure it matches with the images of who we are is getting to be a bit much.  For an overthinker like myself, in OCD fashion, it’s what seems like a second full time job.

But as I'm progressing with my shadow work, I see who I am and I'm finding out that I really don't have to do that anymore.  We are not our thoughts.  They seem to fly in and out of our minds like water and I've been sitting there with my measuring cup examining every ounce.  I don't really understand how I got to be at this point, but as Tori says, "it’s time to wave goodbye now."  It’s time to be comfortable with thoughts coming in that make no sense or are troubling and let them pass through.  That's my goal anyways as I'm tired of feeling like there's an auditor in my head keeping score of what I think and whether I grab onto the thought.  

Which brings us to gratitude.  The more mindful I am about the moment I'm in and being grateful, the easier things seem to get.  I don't worry very much anymore compared to when this all started.  I'm in a much better place and considering how hard I've been manifesting and working towards personal and business goals; I'd say that both my husband and I have done damn good.  

But what I am most grateful for are the people who have been in my life for a very long time.  These are the people that when I was at my lowest, lifted me back up with the message that "you are the goddamn prize!"  They've stuck by me for so long I don't have words to describe just how grateful I am for it. Its been 25 years since college and it’s like no time has passed at all.  During one of my greatest moments, they stood for me in my wedding as my maid of honor and bridesmaids, and I couldn't have been more blessed with the perfection of that day.  It’s as if the universe conspired to provide the perfect day and a moment in time just for us with our friends and loved ones who traveled from the corners of the country just to be there.  I am blessed that the crew I became an adult with is still with me today. 

There is far too much to account for in the realm of the gratitude department for me.  It just keeps coming.  But what I found is to be grateful even if you're not in the place you want to be at yet.  If you want something sincerely, for example, just be thankful and say, "I'm grateful for having a new car and the means to pay it off."  Once you give that thought enough energy (but don't OCD it like I do) you'll be surprised when it comes to pass.  Abraham Hicks, someone from YouTube I highly recommend, talks about manifestation all the time.  The biggest message is to sit in the energy of where you want to be as if you're already there.  All that is, is just feeling what it would be like to have it and feel the feeling of having it.  Sit in that feeling long enough, and watch it come to you.  But don't let your ego say "this isn't working" or somehow talk yourself out of deserving it somehow.  Just exist as if you already have it.  Try it for a while.  You won't be disappointed.

As I am working on dinner with a couple of great friends, listening to Tori Amos, all I can say is, thank you to the energy that makes all this possible.  Thank you for understanding that my head is a challenge to understand, that I really have pure intentions, and helping the husband and I to have this great life we have.  I'll end with, "I can't wait to see just how much better it can get!"

Love is in the air on February 14th as people around the world celebrate Valentine's Day, a holiday that has been linked to love and romance for centuries. From the ancient Roman festival of Lupercalia to the modern-day traditions of exchanging cards and gifts, Valentine's Day has a long and fascinating history.

One of the earliest origins of Valentine's Day can be traced back to the ancient Roman festival of Lupercalia, which was celebrated annually on February 13-15. The festival was named after Lupercus, the Roman god of fertility and shepherds, and was intended to purify the city and promote health and fertility. During the festival, young men known as Luperci would run through the streets of Rome, striking anyone they encountered with strips made from the hides of sacrificed animals. It was believed that being struck by these strips would bring fertility and ward off evil spirits.

Over time, the festival of Lupercalia became associated with love and romance, and the practice of exchanging gifts and cards on Valentine's Day began to emerge. One of the earliest known Valentine's Day messages was written in the 15th century by Charles, Duke of Orleans, to his wife while he was imprisoned in the Tower of London. The message, which is now regarded as the first Valentine's Day card, reads:

Je suis desja d'amour tanné,
Ma tres doulce Valentinée,
Car pour moi fustes trop tard née,
Et moi pour vous fus trop tost né.

Translated into English, the message means:

I am already sick of love,
My very gentle Valentine,
Since for me you were born too late,
And I for you was born too soon.

The custom of exchanging Valentine's Day cards and gifts continued to evolve over time, with cards and gifts becoming more elaborate and romantic. Today, people around the world celebrate Valentine's Day in a variety of ways, with flowers, chocolates, jewelry, and other gifts being popular choices for romantic partners.

In the United States, Valentine's Day is often celebrated with the exchange of cards, flowers, and chocolates, as well as romantic dinners and other special events. Many couples also take the opportunity to express their love and affection to each other with heartfelt messages and special gestures of love.

In Japan, Valentine's Day has a slightly different focus, with women giving chocolates to men as a sign of their affection. Women often give chocolates to their romantic partners as well as male coworkers and friends, and there is also a custom of giving "obligation chocolates" to male coworkers as a sign of friendship.

In South Korea, Valentine's Day is celebrated with the exchange of gifts and flowers between romantic partners, and there is also a separate holiday called "White Day" on March 14th, when men are expected to give gifts to their female partners.

In some Latin American countries, Valentine's Day is known as "Dia de los Enamorados" or "Dia del Amor y la Amistad" (Day of Love and Friendship) and is celebrated with the exchange of gifts and cards between romantic partners and friends.

Regardless of the specific customs and traditions associated with Valentine's Day in different parts of the world, the holiday is universally celebrated as a time to express love and affection to those closest to us. Whether it's a romantic partner, a family member, or a friend, Valentine's Day is an opportunity to show appreciation for the people in our lives and to celebrate the power of love.

We all have those moments in our lives that are pivotal to determining what comes next.  I have tended to look at life like a choose-your-own-adventure book.  You know, the kind that you get to a point in the story and you get to choose to go to page 48 or 152 to keep reading what happens next, based on your choice.  As my loving Dr. Who would say, they are time-locked or something that could never be changed or stopped from happening.   

I've had a couple of these in my lifetime so far.  A memorable one was coming out in 1994 on Thanksgiving to my mother that I was *gasp* a homosexual (say that in your best Beverly Leslie).  A calculated move since I was going back to college that night and didn't have to experience the fall-out, but still once you say something like that you really can't take it back.  In my case anyways.  I never really say something unless I mean it, sans mind-altering substances of course. Those were the days that you wore chains with rainbow colored rings on them.  My father made fun of them on a visit to his house once and called them something I can't repeat and I came out to him as well.  Neither were fun, but that's the nutshell version. There should have been years of therapy there, but what's the point.

What's really the kicker here is that coming out as a friend of Dorothy was nothing compared to the anxiety around coming out as a tarot reader.  Of all things.  Who knew there could be something higher on some people's list of things to stay away from.

But people are afraid of things they don't understand.  They put stigma on things so other people won't like it so they have something in common to stand against.  Its human nature.  However, its a rule of thumb for me not to associate with people who have a list of things you have to be in order to be accepted.  I'm happy on the outside and not being a joiner.  Not having a list of what someone needs to be makes it a lot easier to meet new and interesting people.  That's what life is for isn't it; to have as many experiences as you can so you can report back to the mothership (insert your version of a higher power here) everything you learned?  

I embraced tarot reading as a tool for divination.  There are many tools.  If you're reading my Esoterics section of my journal you'll see there is plenty to choose from.  I picked up on tarot because I am able to use the images and symbols on the cards to divine messages for my clients.  The book that comes with the deck is fine, but at the end of the day its the pictures that inspire the right words to say at the time.  For the most part I'd say I'm pretty good, I've only had two clients that I just couldn't connect with to do a reading.  Why sit down for a reading when your belief system isn't ready for it. 

This part of my world was really hard for me to grab onto at first.  I am a scientist by trade, so my "left" brain wanted evidence and data to support what my "right" brain was getting from the cards.  But as my experience grew it was easy to satisfy both sides with the feedback I get from my clients.  The many "how did you know that" comments and people who come back months later and tell me that what I said would happen did happen because they didn't change course.  Its amazing and something I have a lot of gratitude for being able to help people like that.  

But really I attribute it to what spirit/creator/etc. inspires me to say at that given moment in time.  Specifically what part of the card to look at to know what to say.  It relies on how I interpret the card to give the reading they need and who to send to me to read for.  Its all divinely directed and I'm happy to do my part with this gift.  

So, tarot readers unite! (you don't know how many times I spelled that "untie" and it looked right)

I do offer a tarot share at our store once a month and we're looking at doing it online so more can participate.  If you're interested, go to the menu on this page and look for Tarot Share under Divination Services.  It will give you all the details.    

So the moral of the story here is just to be your true authentic self.  The people you resonate with will come to you to form a community of people you can call your own.  Just believe in yourself first.  The moment you feel you have to live up to someone's expectations to socialize, that's your red flag to get out.